Mathew

Last night I turned the page to the next poem in my Poetry Unit.  I couldn't believe what I had written.  Usually my poetry is more vague and while maybe directed at one particular person, I still had the presence of mind not to name them by name!  This poem is so judgmental.  I'm really uncomfortable posting it.  Mostly because I remember exactly what this poem is about.  My fifteen year old brain didn't understand why my best friend was choosing substance abuse over me, but now I know a little bit more about addiction.  I was pretty mad, sad, lonely, etc at him when I wrote this.  I don't think I ever showed it to him.  I really hope I never did.  And I hope he never sees it even now.  Matt, if you ever do stumble upon this, I'm sorry.  I loved you then, and I love you now.  I'm glad you were able to overcome your demons and are really happy now.

Mathew

Mathew, Mathew you walked so tall.

Mathew, Mathew, but now you crawl.

Mathew of all the things you could have been,

Why are you now what you should not have been?

Mathew, Mathew what made it so?

Mathew, Mathew is it all show?

Mathew, I know you and you are no creep.

But why do you follow all the other sheep?

Mathew, Mathew has no control

Mathew, Mathew gave up his soul

Mathew, don't you understand this can end?

Mathew, don't you know I am still your friend?

(Spring? 1995)