Ode To My Hair Dryer

Ode To My Hair Dryer

Hair dryer, my Quiet Styler

I shall miss your warm air

Blowing through my hair.

It's admirable, really.

The way you held on so long

You fought hard to stay on.

Fought till the end.

You were such a good friend.

Winters would be cold with out you.

You gave me warmth,

And took away the wet.

So, you have my vote.

If there is a hair dryer heaven,

You'll get in, I bet.

(March 2, 2011)

Over You

Over You

Ever since you left this world

I seem to cry so easily.

I'm still not over you.

I know I will see you someday

But right now I miss you

And so many things have changed

There is a hole in my heart

And I'm still not over you.

Day to day, I feel alright.

Once in awhile, unexpectedly,

You come to my mind.

The feeling of that day

Rushes back to me

And I'm still not over you.

I thought I was fine

But I'm still not over you.

My mind screams I have to stop

I have to think of something else!

Because it hurts!

It hurts to miss you

It hurts to know you're gone.

It gets harder to breathe

I'm glad your pain has left you

But I'm still not over you.

(January 19, 2011)

The Fantasy Is Gone

The Fantasy Is Gone

You keep asking me if ever I will forget.

But I can't forget how it felt

To stand in front of you naked

And you looked the other way.

So this storm ends.

But I don't see you the way I once did.

I found a piece of me on the floor

And knew I was no longer whole.

When I tried to put it back,

It didn't quite fit the same.

Because we are not the same

Maybe it means we can change.

I don't want us to be over.

I don't want to our dreams to die.

The fantasy is gone

And sometimes it's hard to try.

When I'm alone

I can't help but wonder

How things would be different

If we had never been together.

The hurt and anger is hard to let go of.

It seems to be the place I live.

I am waiting for the spring's thaw

To break through the surface.

Your light warms my skin

And I start to melt.

I turn my face toward the sun

And soak in your heat.

I'm hanging over the edge of the cliff

And I'm holding on to you for dear life

Please don't let me go

Just don't let me go

It takes time to freeze,

So I will need time as well

Time to remember what's so great

About me.

(April 26, 2010)

Slipping

Slipping

Careful, dear, you're slipping.

I hear myself thinking things.

Things I don't like,

But my mind wonders.

What happened to us?

I know the moment it all began.

But I can't take it back

I wouldn't - even if I could.

I was where I belonged.

I knew.

Because my heart did.

But you didn't need to make it hurt.

Sometimes I wish it was years ago.

Then I could be the one to say no.

Careful, dear, you're slipping.

Slipping.

(September 8, 2009)

Death of A Dishwasher

Death of A Dishwasher

You came into my life a short two years ago.
I knew then, you were not in your youth.
I knew one day we would have to part.
You came into my life, when I needed you so.

Five years I went without.
Five years I washed by hand.
Dirty bowls and spoons would haunt my dreams.
I would look at the sink and scream.

We searched for the perfect home.
With a dishwasher of our own.
We found you and all our dreams came true.
I'm so blue.

I've tried many time to revive you.
Scraping away the hard water deposits.
You groan and protest,
Creating such a mess.

I shall miss you my dear friend.
I shall remember our good times.
When I didn't have to triple rinse.
When I could stack the dishes high.

How I shall miss, the days
When I pulled out a bowl
And there was still a haze.
Scraping bits of food away.

I would scream, why didn't you rinse these!
The youngling would cry, oh, but I tried!
So tonight, I say my goodbyes.
To the dishwasher who finally died.

(June 17, 2009)

More Time

More Time

I knew it wouldn't be long now,

But I thought I had more time.

I wanted to have more time.

A month or maybe two.

Death isn't something new,

But it's still hard to loose you.

It was always nice to know

That there was somewhere I could go

Where the sight of me

Would light somebody's eyes.

(February 1, 2008)

Brown and Green Eyes

Brown and Green Eyes

I have brown and green eyes,

But in them is a sadness that won't be denied.

I can go through my day

And everything is just the way it always is

When suddenly tears stream down my face

Then, quickly as they came, I am fine again

I guess I'm about to fall apart

Sorrow isn't a stranger to this place

But I thought I could keep him away.

Not today. No, not today.

(February 1, 2008)

The World Wasn't Really Simple

This one is terrible.  It's non-congruous and pretty much word vomit.  But I know who it's about.  I just can't really figure out why I was thinking about this person at this time.  I joined Facebook in 2008.  Maybe that's it.  I had caved.  I didn't really see the point of it, but now I guess I do.  Maybe I had sent them a friend request and I was nervous about whether or not they would accept it.  They did.

The World Wasn't Really Simple

I'm looking to the sky

Trying to just breathe the air,

But it's hard not to choke

Because there are so many tears

Remember when we were kids?

The world wasn't really simple.

I loved you then.

You didn't.

I know I dreamt of our life together.

It didn't turn out that way.

I wonder what you are doing now.

Do you ever think of me?

But I am happy.

I hope you are, too.

(January 7, 2008)

Kaleb's Song

I think I like Kaleb's song the best.  I'm not really sure why.  Probably because it talks about living your dreams.  I needed to hear the things I was singing to him more than he did.  Although, I was and still am well aware of the double meaning in that second to last line. ;)

Kaleb's Song

My beautiful Kaleb,

It's that time again.

Time for bed;

Time to rest your head.

You are such a happy boy,

And your smile gives such joy.

Everyday you grow smarter,

And sometimes I forget

You're still so little.

Give in to your dreams,

My sweet, happy Kaleb.

(2005)

Riley's Song

Riley was still a baby when I wrote his song, and his personality was still emerging.  I often lamented that I should have waited to write his until I got to know him better, but he says that he loves his song, so it's all good I suppose.

Riley's Song

My sweet Riley,

My little boy,

I can't believe how fast you grow.

It's wonderful to know

You are my special one.

Sleep tonight.

You're always so peaceful then.

I love to watch you dream.

It's so wonderful to know,

You are my special one,

My sweet little Riley.

(2003)

Zachary's Song

A long time ago, when my kids were babies and I don't think Kaleb (my youngest), was even born yet, I was watching Oprah.  Yeah.  I used to watch Oprah.  I stopped in like 2006 though.  I think.  Any way, she had a guest on who wrote her kids their own song.  I thought that was amazing.  I wish I could do that.  Then I thought.  Well, I write poetry.  Why can't I just make up a little tune to sing them when they go to sleep? They aren't long.  They're very simple and very sweet.
Here's Zachary's.  He's 13 now and once in a great while, he still wants to hear it.

Zachary's Song

My little Zachary,

I often think of who you'll be.

You are so sweet,

And you are so kind.

So as you go to sleep tonight,

Remember I love you.

I always do.

You are my sweetheart.

You always will be.

So sleep and dream of happy things.

My special Zachary.

(2003)

How Much More

How Much More

I used to think that you were the one I’d spend forever with. 

I used to feel that you’d never hurt me in anyway.

But now you seem to think that everything I say has something cold behind it.

Biting back is your way of saying it’s true.

I feel like you don’t want me around.

You seem to have forgotten that much of the time,

I’m simply tired.

I was just asking.  I just wanted to know.

Our child needs you, or I’d just go.

A fact you all too often take for granted.

I want to be your girl, but when all you make me feel is mean,

I can’t help wondering how much more we can take.

(May 9, 2002)

Haunting

Haunting

Who do you dream of when the nights are cold?

Who do you dream of when you feel so alone?

Who do you want to call your own?

Who do you dream of when you feel oh, so old?

Does anybody dream of you?

Does anybody love you, too?

Why do I feel so sad when I think of what we had?

Now you're gone and I am oh, so glad.

But rejection from you never hurt this bad.

I wish I could turn around

And find the memory of you gone.

But you're haunting me.

And I wish you would just leave me alone.

(No date.  Best guess is 1997 or 1998,

but updated May 13, 2014)

When the World Is Over

I found this one among all my poems from 1999, but it seems I wrote this one in 1995.  At least, the last digit looks a lot like a 5.  We can just think of it as a little bit of time traveling.  Wait.  We have been living in the past this whole time! ;)  I have about five more poems from before this year.  One more from 1999.  Maybe two.  I can't decide if the one I am looking at right now is one or two.  I'm leaning towards one, though.  And after finding this one from 1995, I'm not even sure if it is from 1999.  There isn't a date, so I will just say it is.  Any way.  Enjoy the poem.

When the World Is Over

Shadows forming in the night
Illuminating over the pale street light.
The poor young boy runs through the town
Until, with a longing cry, he tumbles down.
When the world is over
She shall lie down in fields of clover.
Green and fresh, her world so new.
The boy took wing and flew.
Falling to her knees, she mourns her loss.
But she never felt cross.
He, mocking her pain,
Began to scorn and humiliate her name.
When the world is over,
She will lie down in soft clover.
Green and fresh, her world will be.
And the boy will fall to his knees
Begging for mercy and pleading to be let in.
She only laughs at his tears - he'll never win.
The more he begs, the more she'll bruise his knees.
But she knows everything will change with the leaves.
Winter chills her to the bone.
Freezing all the seeds she's sewn.
When the world is over
She'll lie down in green clover.
Green and fresh her world will be
The see it all so clearly.
And, together, they'll play in ecstasy.

(September 21, 1995)

Family Ties

Family Ties

I used to know
What to do when you cried.
I used to know
How to make you smile.
But suddenly, I can't.
You don't come to me
When you just can't grin.
Anymore.
You won't let me be there.
So I don't know what to do.
You won't tell me what's the matter.
So I can't know what to do.
You seem to believe I don't love you.
Anymore.
It isn't true.
Don't believe such lies.
There's nothing stronger
Than family ties.

(April 13, 1999)

Your Girl

Your Girl

It's hard, sometimes, to be
Your girl.
The longing for you never dies.
I wish to hold you
When the day ends,
And kiss you
As the day begins.

(1999)

I Loved You

I Loved You

I loved you before I knew it.
But when realization came,
I was afraid, confused, bewildered.
Why you?  Why not?
It was nice, you know.
To realize you loved me.
To know someone could care.

(1999)

Today Is Thursday

Today Is Thursday

Today is Thursday
But it feels like Friday.
So I'm wondering
Why I'm sitting here
Discussing ethics with you.
Shouldn't I be somewhere else?
Am I just fatigued
Or is it normal
For my head to hurt?
Am I listening to the instructor
Or is he
Going in one ear
And out the other?
It is my belief that
The only reason I'm still awake
Is the chewing gum
Rolling on my tongue.

(January 28, 1999)

Pixies and Fairy Kings

Pixies and Fairy Kings

As I sit and watch the moon tonight
My thoughts are wandering
Down a dusty lane.
This country road winds and turns.
Trees, flowers, and shadows dance
And I long to know you.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
I dream of pixies and fairy kings.
All sighing at my sight.
They bless and sing me praises
I could accept their proposals.
They could adorn me in immortality,
But it's with you, I'd rather be.

(Late 1998 or Early 1999)

Longing

Longing

She is crying
But she doesn't know why.
It isn't her lover.
He's safe at home.
But tonight
He can't hold her
But tonight she feels alone
Even though this isn't so.
She's her own work to do
She understands
And cries no more
Tonight.

(December 15, 1998)